recommit

Today I rededicated my life to Jesus. How cool!!!

I have been apathetic and confused in my faith. Not knowing where I stand on social issues and allowing that to halt me from pursing Christ.

I cared more about how people felt towards me than I did about their spiritual well being. I was a spiritual and social chameleon; making jokes about partying and alcohol, viewing sex as casual, allowing myself and others to live in obvious sin with no desire to change, etc.

I want consistency, not the roller coaster life with exaggerated high's and low's.

I want to live in a way that is pleasing to Christ. I want to know the balance of calling people out on their sin versus showing them compassion and love. I want to know what doctrine is truth. I WANT TRUTH. Is that Faith Family? Is that the Ransom? Is that Life Church? Or Jon Lane's church? And will I be damned to hell because of false doctrine because I choose the wrong one? I want clarity, discernment, and direction. Lord, guide me.

I'm not really sure..

But yeah, I look forward to turning back to Christ and learning to rely on Him day in and day out. With the good and the bad. The stressful and the blissful. I want to give thanks regardless of the circumstance or my current feelings.

Thank you Jesus for being at work today.

change

Nick and I broke up- surprise!

I had been hopeful for a fulfilling relationship. I wanted the ease, laughter, pursing Christ together and that never came. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean he is a bad person, he just isn't the person that the Lord has picked for my life and that's okay!

I am thankful for the relationship because it caused me to reflect on what I really want. Here's what I came away with...

I want a family.
I want security.
I want a comforter.
I want laughter.
I want adventure.
I want simple and effortless (to an extent, of course).

My list makes me chuckle because every one of those desires should be found in and through Christ. They are a byproduct of surrendering my life fully to Him. Wow.. I need to allow God to romance my heart. I am considering committing a full year of no dating. Starting May 16, 2017 through May 16, 2017 in an effort to recenter my priorities where they should lie. We'll see how this goes.

I look forward to seeing how the Lord is going to use me in this season, it's just a matter or surrendering and being willing.