UGH UGH UGH
I feel overwhelmed.
It's not even just a mental feeling, but a physical weight on my chest.
I can't take a full breath.
I know it's Satan. I know that I am being fed lies, yet I sit here believing them. I feel inadequate, unattractive, confused, and like I'm falling short.
Those are all related to the Nick situation.
I have hardly seen my two best friends because I seem to always be doing homework or around Nick. Not even outside of the cafeteria, but we're always in proximity to one another and I want space. But then I don't want space.
The mafia situation was disappointing but so petty at the same time. I sat there feeling lonely. I want the relationship to progress but I am also so hesitant.
I feel bad because I have noticed an internal change when I am around him and I don't know if that is correlated outwardly. I don't know what I want.
